I am bad at sports. Yes, I was the person always picked last at kickball. Half the opposing team would scoot up when they saw me and my short little legs step up to plate. The other half would tell the first half that were being mean. Then they would scoot up too. Yes, I still hate kickball to this day. I never had enough power to kick the ball far or hit the baseball out of the park during softball. I was too short to be useful during basketball games, and I couldn’t serve the ball over the net during volleyball. Why did I play so many sports anyway? I guess my parents hated me. They probably thought I needed exercise and sunshine and that maybe some hand-eye coordination would seep its way into my brain. It didn’t. I vaguely remember being the kid who chatted with everyone else on the bleachers or who played in the dirt during softball.

I never became an athlete when I got older but things did get easier. I could suddenly make a few baskets even though I never could during practice. I could serve the ball over the net (underhand but that still counts) and as for kickball. Okay well I still suck at that and soccer, nut I refused to be on a kick ball team and signed up for beach volleyball instead. I say beach a lot, but I mean sand volleyball. There are no beaches in Kansas and if there were they would be freezing at this time of year. The weather is spastic anyway, so while the beginning of the week had sunny skies and shorts, by the time volleyball came around I was wearing sweats and huddled in a jacket the whole time.

My skills at volleyball aren’t advanced but they’re more than I had as a child. I can reliably serve the ball over the net. I probably got more serves over than anyone else on my team. I can normally always touch the ball if it comes over to me. That’s not a great feat, half the time I ended up in the sand, but I can normally hit easy balls and I’m somewhat entertaining when I shriek and bat at serves so I am tolerated. Some of my teammates have played volleyball for years and some of them are like nine freaking feet tall  so I am no way near the best player on my team. And I couldn’t stop us from getting slaughtered during our matches this time. But I do okay and I help drink the beer we get. I am content with what I bring to the team. I just hope it warms up and that we remember more beer next time.