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I am bad at sports. Yes, I was the person always picked last at kickball. Half the opposing team would scoot up when they saw me and my short little legs step up to plate. The other half would tell the first half that were being mean. Then they would scoot up too. Yes, I still hate kickball to this day. I never had enough power to kick the ball far or hit the baseball out of the park during softball. I was too short to be useful during basketball games, and I couldn’t serve the ball over the net during volleyball. Why did I play so many sports anyway? I guess my parents hated me. They probably thought I needed exercise and sunshine and that maybe some hand-eye coordination would seep its way into my brain. It didn’t. I vaguely remember being the kid who chatted with everyone else on the bleachers or who played in the dirt during softball.

I never became an athlete when I got older but things did get easier. I could suddenly make a few baskets even though I never could during practice. I could serve the ball over the net (underhand but that still counts) and as for kickball. Okay well I still suck at that and soccer, nut I refused to be on a kick ball team and signed up for beach volleyball instead. I say beach a lot, but I mean sand volleyball. There are no beaches in Kansas and if there were they would be freezing at this time of year. The weather is spastic anyway, so while the beginning of the week had sunny skies and shorts, by the time volleyball came around I was wearing sweats and huddled in a jacket the whole time.

A beach volleyball ball.

My skills at volleyball aren’t advanced but they’re more than I had as a child. I can reliably serve the ball over the net. I probably got more serves over than anyone else on my team. I can normally always touch the ball if it comes over to me. That’s not a great feat, half the time I ended up in the sand, but I can normally hit easy balls and I’m somewhat entertaining when I shriek and bat at serves so I am tolerated. Some of my teammates have played volleyball for years and some of them are like nine freaking feet tall  so I am no way near the best player on my team. And I couldn’t stop us from getting slaughtered during our matches this time. But I do okay and I help drink the beer we get. I am content with what I bring to the team. I just hope it warms up and that we remember more beer next time.

Nature is trying to take over in the parking lot of the restaurant where I work. We have four geese that have made their nests in the lot and have started having babies. This seems adorable. And okay, it is to me. I pass them all the time and they’re cute from far away, even though they actually do sit pretty close to the front door at my work. Some of my coworkers throw things at them and chase them. This was how we learned that doing things like that was actually a felony. So either they’ll stop or get arrested, either outcome works for me. The hostess and I have become friends with the geese. Or as close to friends as I can be without getting too close to them.  I say hello, they don’t chase me, I go inside, and everyone wins. I don’t even really mind breaking for them when I drive away. However, I would like them better if they responded to my horn and actually moved out of the way. Someone called Animal Control today to move the geese because some great citizen tried to run over them with his car. We learned that because of An Important Law geese are protected and they can’t do anything to displace them. I guess I’ll be seeing my little friends more often.

goose

 

As for me, I am slowly becoming more productive and making money doing some freelance writing. Also, my day job at the restaurant was pleasant if not lucrative, and I’d almost say I’ve had a productive day. I would say it but last time I really felt like I was getting things done and making progress, I backslid majorly into a napping, procrastinating mess. Tonight I’m going to try to get some of my personal writing projects done and watch some of my favorite Tuesday night TV shows. I don’t know why Glee is one of my favorite Tuesday night TV shows, but it still is. And in watching the Veronica Mars reruns that are on Soapnet, I remembered why I fell in love with Max Greenfield from New Girl in the first place. I know everyone loved Logan but I was all about the cute deputy. Or the badass Latino biker. I still miss Weevil. Or okay, even Duncan Kane was kinda adorable. That show had a lot of attractive menfolk on it, which is another reason why it shouldn’t have been cancelled. I’m still hoping for a movie!

 

Eli "Weevil" Navarro

Eli "Weevil" Navarro (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Polar Bear!

My goal was to post on this blog “more often” though I guess that term is open to my interpretation. Since it’s been like two weeks, I suppose it should be pretty easy to meet that goal at this point. I was going to write about some adventures I’ve had over the past few weeks like the Grouplove concert I went to (amazing) or the college basketball championships (not as amazing), but then I saw this:

This man, who apparently has some type of  background training bears, has a polar bear for a pet that he swims with. I may have to discretely delete this post a year from now when that polar bear turns against him, but right now all I can think is “awwww.”

If I were ever crazy enough to think I could own a wild animal for a pet, then I would get an ocelot. I have wanted an ocelot ever since I knew what an ocelot was. Which animal would you choose?

Deutsch: Ozelot (Leopardus pardalis) English: ...

Photo credit: Wikipedia

A Good Hair Day

I didn’t brush my hair today. My perfectly logical explanation is that I couldn’t find a brush. Because I am the kind of person that frequently misplaces their hairbrush, which doesn’t even seem like it should be possible, but I always take mine in the car or in my purse. Our house is sparse and uncluttered because of the showings and I still managed to lose it. Though considering how good my hair looks today it might have to stay gone. This is the second day my brush has been missing and I swear my hair looked great both days. And that’s probably only 20% or 30% wishful thinking. I only did the fingers through the hair quick comb and yet it seems to be much less frizzy and unkempt than usual.

In addition to the hair, I feel like I’ve had a pretty good day. I was productive and I had a free meal at Subway with my mom. My veggie sandwich happened to be on the low fat list of subs (I’m ignoring the amount of cheese and mayo I added), I’ve been able to get some writing done, I worked out, and I studied Spanish for a little while. The only thing I can hope for is that this continues until tomorrow. It seems like every good day I have is followed by a day that I wear sweatpants and don’t leave the couch.

I suppose all of this is my way of saying I am glad to have some Mary Oliver in my life.

Reckless Poem- Mary Oliver

Today again I am hardly myself.
It happens over and over.
It is heaven-sent.

It flows through me
like the blue wave.
Green leaves – you may believe this or not –
have once or twice
emerged from the tips of my fingers

somewhere
deep in the woods,
in the reckless seizure of spring.

Though, of course, I also know that other song,
the sweet passion of one-ness.

Just yesterday I watched an ant crossing a path, through the
tumbled pine needles she toiled.
And I thought: she will never live another life but this one.
And I thought: if she lives her life with all her strength
is she not wonderful and wise?
And I continued this up the miraculous pyramid of everything
until I came to myself.

And still, even in these northern woods, on these hills of sand,
I have flown from the other window of myself
to become white heron, blue whale,
red fox, hedgehog.
Oh, sometimes already my body has felt like the body of a flower!
Sometimes already my heart is a red parrot, perched
among strange, dark trees, flapping and screaming.

When I was around five we moved into a little circle drive. I know we lived in the same area but I barely remember our house before this one. I remember being friends with the girl who lived behind us, but I can’t remember any of our other neighbors. Our cul-de-sac has about 12 houses in it, I could count the actual number but it is dark outside and I am lazy. Ours was the third house to be built so we’ve seen almost everyone move in. This way it was easier to get to know our small circle of neighbors. Most of the neighbors had children that I grew up with, but many of them moved once their children grew. Now, I only know the neighbors that have been around as long as we have. I don’t see the neighborhood as much as I used to when I was running around outside. I wave whenever a car passes me but I never know if I’m waving to a neighbor or someone who’s just using our circle drive to turn around in.

My favorite neighbor is one I never speak to. He actually lives in the duplexes across the street from us. We’ve known him for a few years but I can’t remember how it started. He’s an elderly African American gentleman who sits on a bench outside his house when the weather is nice. We live off a busy street and as far as I can tell he just sits there enjoying the weather, observing the traffic, and talking to joggers who pass by. One day we started waving to him. I think my mom started it while I was in the car and then I waved to him too. I’ve barely spoken to him since I saw him across the street but I always enjoy seeing him outside. We know his name is Artist, he has a big family, a nice wife, and various health problems. He can’t putter around in his yard as much as he used to but he still likes to sit outside when he can. Today was the first day I saw him outside this Spring and I hope to see him more.

My mom and I tried to restart our habit of drinking margaritas outside at Chipotle when the weather is nice but due to a “city ordinance” we can longer drink on patio. It’s shocking but in this battle of the outdoors vs. tequila, I think sitting outside is going to win. What are you doing now that Spring is here?

 

A cul-de-sac sign in Dublin, Ireland.

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Musical Sunday

I woke up this morning and had little else to do but surf the internet since I cannot touch anything in the house. The house gets shown on the weekends so we try to keep everything pristine. It’s driving me a little crazy. Most of my stuff is thrown in boxes in the garage or the basement. So I caught up on what happened during the week with Jezebel and the Hairpin. I seemed to be drawn to the more shallow articles though.

First, I saw the video to Part Of Me by Katy Perry that has been playing on the radio recently. I recognized it because it is the only Katy Perry song in recent memory that I don’t automatically change the station on. I liked Hot n’ Cold and… that’s about it. And maybe I fell in love with her cover Use Your Love and insisted that it be played at least twice during every road trip we took in college. She’s more toned down in this video but still crazy. She plays a woman who broke up with her boyfriend and naturally decides to get back at him to show female empowerment or something. So there’s a bunch of shots of her being strong and firing guns, and then dancing and twirling under a flag. Like all marines do. I wonder if any video about the army or the marines can just be an uplifting story about armed services without seeming like a propaganda video. Probably not, at least in this case. Though getting members to enlist because their significant other broke up with them is a new tactic. Still, I didn’t really hate the video. I liked Katy Perry without crazy colored hair and a lot of makeup. Plus yes, the flag dancing looked fun.

Then to delve deeper into saccharine pop music, I discovered this song:

Or Justin Bieber discovered it I guess, then much later I did. I am such a fan of Bieber that I didn’t even know how to spell his name. I went to youtube and typed in “J” and it was the first option. If I can still like Selena Gomez despite her affiliation with JBeebs, then I think this girl is safe too. It is kind of a terrible song though. I’m going to listen to it a lot.

Finally, I learned Jessie J was turning 24. As in the age I am. I always do that thing where I compare what famous people my age have accomplished to what I’ve done, and then I get a headache. Not that I know what Jessie J has accomplished besides being on the MTV awards once and having a song I can’t stand. But I’m still pretty sure it’s more than what I’ve done with my life so far. Yet somehow I’m not that disappointed, I’m mostly just wondering what the J in her name stands for.

What are your favorite pop songs?

Investigating.

 

Sometimes I’m pretty sharp. Then there’s the other times when I can’t even get the simplest jokes. Like this one. My friend told this to me over dinner and I was too busy picturing an alligator wearing a vest to even bother with the joke. Adorable, right? Then I just didn’t get it. I got that he was wearing a vest but wasn’t sure why the ‘in’ part mattered. It didn’t click for minutes. My friends still laugh about it and one sent me this picture. I suppose the bright side is that it runs in the family. My mom had the exact same reaction to the joke I did and it took her the same amount of time to figure it out. But seriously, that alligator is so cute.

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