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Posts tagged ‘Health’

Hello Again

Okay blog, we have to stop meeting like this. In my defense, there have been some big changes since I last updated. You know, there’s some blogs I read that are deeply personal and really open about what the writer is going through in their life. I admire those people because they largely share things I would never be comfortable with telling friends, let alone the internet. Though I guess it’s easier to tell strangers thing, as I posted about having ADHD on my blog before I ever mentioned it to most of the people in my life.

I’ve been trying to be more forthcoming with information about my life and maybe having this blog is helping that, but there’s still things I’m private about. Or maybe I’m just not ready to discuss everything yet. I’m not being intentionally vague to draw anyone in, I’m just taking a long time to get to my point, which is also unsatisfying and vague. I was supposed to be moving into an apartment with a friend at the end of the month. However, that is probably no longer going to happen. A mix of financial issues, health problems, more financial issues because of said health problems, and stupidity on my part means I’ll probably be heading to a small town with family.

There are many good things and bad things to this decision. I’ll be moving from friends and civilization, there’s no Chipotle in the new town, and my family is great but I was ready to live on my own. On the plus side the cost is less, I’ll be less stressed and more productive, and my family is pretty great and they have dogs.

What I will say is that I probably don’t have ADHD. Or maybe I do. As anyone who deals with any of these issues knows, one’s mental health can be confusing. There are many things like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder and ADHD that blur together or occur together and in medical terminology; it’s a bitch to figure out. So while I am not moving, I am hopefully going to be figuring out more about my lovely and annoying mind and how it works, spending quality time with the pets, and living a hopefully amusing life in a town where I may be the only liberal and vegetarian.

 

Vincent van Gogh, The Starry Night. Oil on can...

Wasn’t going to use a picture, but WordPress suggested this. I may have problems but I will not cut off my ear.

Allergies

It’s that time of year when I walk into a new place and suddenly start sneezing. Multiple times. In succession. I don’t have one of those tiny, cute, girl sneezes that sound like a puppy, or a bunny, or some other small adorable animal sneezing. It’s more something like this:

I keep sneezing because I have allergies now. I developed them a couple years ago. They come and go rather suddenly. I almost forget I have them every year until I need to break out the Benadryl for a couple weeks. I don’t even know what I’m allergic to or why it started. These are the possible reasons I’ve considered so far:

Age: I went for 18 years without allergies, how is it fair to suddenly develop them? I guess it’s like anything with getting old, but I am still protesting. My body is a conformist and has to get worse as it gets older instead of becoming more awesome or taller or something. I’ve heard other people say that they experienced adult onset allergies too. That it happened just as suddenly as mine did and it doesn’t go away. Yay.

Location: Kansas normally has an increase in mildew and ragweed this time of year. The amount of pollen also does… stuff. I have no idea what I’m talking about. I can never figure out what I’m allergic to or if it has to do with where I live or not. I’ve been told that Kansas is bad for allergies because of– stuff. But I can never remember what that stuff is.

The Lords Will: However, I think we’re on good terms.

Change of location: I first got allergies the summer I returned from my freshman year of college. My uncle says it’s because I’d never lived anywhere else before. As you might be able to tell, I have no idea how allergies work so I can’t tell you if this is a valid theory or not.

Genetics: Neither of my parents are particularly prone to allergies but as I’ve often alleged, I got the worst traits from each of them. My father is a respectable 5’11’’ but I got my mother’s 5’1’’ height (which I round to 5’2’’). I don’t look anything like my Mexican mother but I do resemble my pale father who burns easily. So I’m sure their combined DNA could figure out a way to give me terrible allergies even though they’re both fine.

I’m Cursed: No. Too Melodramatic.

Pets: If it was them, I figure I’d be allergic to them more often. And I’d be screwed anyway because I wouldn’t get rid of the dogs.

Besides, who would get rid of that face? Well, someone did. But we aren’t letting him go that easy.

I do realize that other people have allergies that are a lot worse than mine. I generally complain once when it starts, start taking my Benadryl, and wait it out. Plus, this blog post gave me an excuse to post a picture of my dog. And he’s adorable.

In other news, I was a rock star at being semi-productive today. I got some writing work done, did my laundry (and put almost all of it back in the proper places!), and am getting closer to moving into my new apartment. The highlight of my day was when I discovered a diet plan that proposes because our genetics are relatively unchanged from how they were thousands of years ago, we should eat the same food our prehistoric ancestors did. My mother always pretends she’s dieting so I told her about this. Her response was, “You mean like dinosaurs?”

I learn all my lessons from TV shows.

The days where I get ten hours of sleep are not the ones where I’m most rested. It’s only ten here and I’m already yawning and thinking about how comfortable my bed is. I sat down to write a blog post (two days in a row!), but I’d rather be sleeping. On days like this I wonder where the time went. I feel like I didn’t get much accomplished today and that’s because I didn’t.  I have trouble focusing on one task, so my days are usually a jumble of half finished projects and wasted time. I guess all I can do is think of the positives. I received two free meals today (food would be where my mind goes first), it was a beautiful day outside, and I made plans to have lunch with a good friend tomorrow. Normally at the end of a lackluster day, I hope I can get my act together tomorrow, focus, and get some work done. Tonight, I am not hoping. I am determined to make tomorrow better.

Here’s a simple quote from Cougar Town that has been applicable to my life lately: “Nothing you really want in life ever works out, unless you’re in one hundred percent.”

But maybe Ron Swanson said it best:

A Good Hair Day

I didn’t brush my hair today. My perfectly logical explanation is that I couldn’t find a brush. Because I am the kind of person that frequently misplaces their hairbrush, which doesn’t even seem like it should be possible, but I always take mine in the car or in my purse. Our house is sparse and uncluttered because of the showings and I still managed to lose it. Though considering how good my hair looks today it might have to stay gone. This is the second day my brush has been missing and I swear my hair looked great both days. And that’s probably only 20% or 30% wishful thinking. I only did the fingers through the hair quick comb and yet it seems to be much less frizzy and unkempt than usual.

In addition to the hair, I feel like I’ve had a pretty good day. I was productive and I had a free meal at Subway with my mom. My veggie sandwich happened to be on the low fat list of subs (I’m ignoring the amount of cheese and mayo I added), I’ve been able to get some writing done, I worked out, and I studied Spanish for a little while. The only thing I can hope for is that this continues until tomorrow. It seems like every good day I have is followed by a day that I wear sweatpants and don’t leave the couch.

I suppose all of this is my way of saying I am glad to have some Mary Oliver in my life.

Reckless Poem- Mary Oliver

Today again I am hardly myself.
It happens over and over.
It is heaven-sent.

It flows through me
like the blue wave.
Green leaves – you may believe this or not –
have once or twice
emerged from the tips of my fingers

somewhere
deep in the woods,
in the reckless seizure of spring.

Though, of course, I also know that other song,
the sweet passion of one-ness.

Just yesterday I watched an ant crossing a path, through the
tumbled pine needles she toiled.
And I thought: she will never live another life but this one.
And I thought: if she lives her life with all her strength
is she not wonderful and wise?
And I continued this up the miraculous pyramid of everything
until I came to myself.

And still, even in these northern woods, on these hills of sand,
I have flown from the other window of myself
to become white heron, blue whale,
red fox, hedgehog.
Oh, sometimes already my body has felt like the body of a flower!
Sometimes already my heart is a red parrot, perched
among strange, dark trees, flapping and screaming.

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